50 Things You Think When Stalking Your Ex’s New Girlfriend On Facebook


When your ex-boyfriend is in a relationship, you alway spend the next few hours on Facebook stalking his new girlfriend. Why? Because you simply can’t help yourself.

Here are the 50 things you think when stalking your Ex’s new girlfriend on facebook..  

1. Shut. Up.

2. He’s in a relationship???

3. Since when? Who would want to date him?

4. I mean, I was so young and naïve. I didn’t know any better. It was a different story.

5. Blake? What kind of a name is Blake?

6. Is he dating a guy?

7. Oh my god, did I turn him gay???

8. That would be epic. Looks like I can check that one off of my bucket list.

9. Oh, it’s just that girl who keeps tagging him in pictures. I knew something was up.

10. I mean, she’s obviously obsessed with him if she’s posted that many pictures before they were even FBO.

11. Maybe I should warn him. She could be some psycho killer.

12. I should probably figure out who she really is before I warn him. I watch enough “Criminal Minds” — I know the signs.

13. I wonder where they met.

14. Did she hit on him? Or, did he initiate conversation?

15. I wonder how private her profile is.

16. Ha, not private at all! What a slut.

17. Oh, God, she’s beautiful.

18. Is that her real hair?

19. Her hair is seriously perfect.

20. No, really, it’s perfect.

21. Let’s just flip through her profile pictures and see how many likes she gets.

22. DON’T ACCIDENTALLY LIKE ANY.

23. That would be SO beyond awkward.

24. Holy hell, 469 likes on a picture with her grandma?

25. Who gets 469 likes for posting a photo with her Grandma?

26. Whore. She must be a whore.

27. Aw, but she actually looks so adorable with her grandma!

28. No. No, they’re not adorable. Keep going.

29. God, she has the perfect body, too?

30. I have that same bikini from Victoria’s Secret.

31. I totally wear it better.

32. If only Ryan saw me in that bikini, he would agree.

33. How is she so tan?

34. I bet its fake.

35. Ryan totally hates fake bakers.

36. Or maybe, it’s all Photoshop.

37. Her pictures do look pretty airbrushed.

38. Nobody is naturally that gorgeous.

39. Her skin looks seriously perfect.

40. No, really, like has she never even had a zit?

41. There’s no way Ryan found someone so perfect.

42. Totally Photoshopped.

43. Oh look, a picture of them together.

44. They don’t look good together.

45. Maybe she’s just too tall? The height difference doesn’t work well.

46. Look how his arm is wrapped around her.

47. It doesn’t even look like there’s any chemistry between them.

48. We had so much chemistry.

49. There was a point when we could barely keep our hands off of each other.

50. I bet they’re not as intimate as we were.

51. I wonder if they’ve slept together yet?

52. She looks like a slut, so probably.

53. I wonder if he thinks that she’s better than I am?

54. No way. What we had was special.

55. I wonder if he ever accidentally screamed my name.

56. I mean, I was his first.

57. He probably still talks about me.

58. Do you think she knows about me?

59. I probably intimidate her.

60. I mean, I was the first girl to meet his parents.


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